He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i think i have two assholes
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
