If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
