i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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