I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
