another moral hangover. fuck.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
