I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
