Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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