No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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