Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i came on her dog
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
