did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
