Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
