it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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