dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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