Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
