have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
