We should be called the Road Head Warriors
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
