Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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