I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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