You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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