Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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