i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
