if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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