Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
