hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
