We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
jump out the window naked night went bad
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