go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
