i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
