you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
