I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
