So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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