It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
