his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
