Porn is love you can see.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
