Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he just fucked me for my cheese..
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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