Kiss
Puke
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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