my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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