U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
