i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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