matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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