it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
