Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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