I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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