thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
