i just had sex bonerless
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
