How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
