his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
