Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
