A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
