Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
