all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
