Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
