drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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